Funny Cab Driver

On the way back from an interview, my friend, Sean, and I took a cab going back to the office. As soon as we entered the vehicle and told the driver where we wanted to go, the driver immediately turned his radio off and started to ask us if we have already heard about the fruit without peel nor seed, that is very juicy. Thinking that he was about to sell us a new herbal preparation or some other multi-level networking product, I braced myself for the worst. This can't be another one of those uber-low marketing ploys that some companies use, so I thought.

I gave the question much thought and, together with Sean, eventually gave up on the answer. His response? Juicy Fruit Gum (a brand of chewing gum from the makers of Double Mint). I laughed my heart out in relief. And as if that joke wasn't enough, he continued to bombard us with more jokes--and poker-faced at that! Whenever we got the answers right, he would reply with "May tama ka," (You got that right). Here are some of his old, yet timeless jokes:

• What do you call people from China? Chinese. How about people from Japan? Japanese. How about people from Taiwan? Taiwanese. And people from Vietnam? Vietnamese.
  What the do you call people from Mayon (a town in Albay in the Bicol region)? To which Sean replied: Bicolano? Of course, that's what you call people from the Bicol region, right?
  The correct response? Mayonese (which the old driver pronounced as mayonnaise).
• What do you call the trinket that ladies wear in their ear? We answered, hikaw, which in English means earring. His response? She-kaw. He-kaw, he explained, are for males. So if a woman wears a he-kaw, she is probably gay.
• What do you call a happy chicken? Chicken Joy (a fried chicken brand of Jollibee)
• What do you call a small chicken? Knorr Chicken Cubes (a broth cube)
• What do you call a chicken's mother? To which I replied, "Inahin!" (Hen). He replied, "Dati 'yun, pinalitan na nila, kahapon lang!" (That was before. They changed it only yesterday!) The answer? Chicken Mami, a kind of Chinese chicken noodle soup.
• What do you call a small goat? Kapirang-goat
• What do you call a big mole? Mega "Mole" (of course, we know that MegaMall is one of the biggest malls in the country)
• What do you call a bigger mole? MOA [SM Mall of Asia (MOA) is said to be the biggest mall in the Philippines]
• What do you call a shining mole (in his terms, kumukutitap)? Star "Mole" (a mall opposite SM MegaMall)
• What do you call this (pointing to his lower lip), to which I replied "Lip!" And the follow up question, "how about this?" (pointing to his upper lip), to which I replied "Lip?" His reply? Rayt. Lip en rayt.
• What do you call this (pointing to his right cheek), to which Sean replied, "Cheek!" And the follow up question, "how about this?" (pointing to his left cheek). Sean replied "Cheven?" Wrong! The correct response is "It" (eight). Because it is cheek (right cheek), cheven (nose), it (left cheek).

The trip was a bit short. But I tell you, had you been in that ride with us, you would be laughing hard, not so much at the jokes but the way the cool old man delivered them. Thank you, Mr. Cab Driver, for making our day!