Eruptions

It is the last day of the month. Typically, for me, this day would be uneventful..... so uneventful!

However, I woke up this morning and discovered a few things that would make my day a living hell!

As I was rubbing my eyes to wakeful bliss, I felt a sudden pain right at the corner of my left eye. Yup, it is a sty--the pimply thing that appears on our - you guessed it - eyes! And boy, does it hurt. Local folklore has it that you can get a sty through peeping. Trust me, the last time I peeped was... oh well.... yesterday? If you would consider that peeping! I was merely marveling at how some ladies passing by the street wore T-back and some wore regular panties, and how some were bunched up in the.... well, you know what I mean. Technically, it is not peeping. But that is just how far it goes. Now I wonder, where did I get this wretched sty of mine? Now I couldn't wear contact lenses, which have a uniform grade of +325. I have to walk in a blur wearing my glasses, whose lenses are graded at +275. Oh, and by the way, my eyes are +400. You could just imagine the haziness I am in today. All because of this damn sty.

So I went to the bathroom to do my morning rituals. To my horror, I saw another volcanic threat ready to erupt. In fact, I saw two of them, and yes, they are painful as well! Two pimples-- one on my right cheek, and the other on the corner of my nose! Talk about teenage woes! The thing is, I am way past my teenage years! In fact, I am about 8 years past my teenage years! Damn!

I just wish that things will look brighter from hereon. I don't know if I can take another eruption, wherever it may be. This is too much for someone who doesn't get eruptions often.

So, does anybody here have tea tree oil?

Letters and Dreams

I had a very tiring weekend, so to say.

I had three hours of badminton game last Friday, one hour last Saturday and two hours yesterday. Amidst all the energy lost in these games, I also lost some sleep time over the weekend. I slept at 2 am on Friday, 4 am on Saturday, and 2 am yesterday.

This is probably the reason why I feel so drained today. Top it off with a helping of parental sermons and you have a perfect mix of life-fatigue syndrome. Midlife crisis? Probably -- if I would consider 54 as my dying age.

Back to feeling drained. As soon as I took my place in front of my computer this morning, I couldn't feel anything but sheer sleepiness. My eyes were droopy and my body was limp. I was practically lifeless.

So I had some editing jobs to do. It is a good thing that proofreading and editing now entails the use of a computer. Otherwise, if it were done on paper, I would have practically struck out all the lines with my pen (which used to happen to me by the way).

While editing, I would find myself in another dimension - the dimension of La la land. It has never happened so often in a day until today. Everytime I try to fight it off, I immediately get lured back to dream state. Yup, dream state. I was actually having dreams during those mini dozes. The funny thing is, all dreams were the same!

Everytime I'd fall off to sleep, I would dream of random letters -- six letters to be exact -- and in my dream I would rearrange them to come up with a word, or words, that are valid. Believe me, this is punishment enough for obsessing too much on Yahoo! Games' Text Twist! I swear, had I not been rearranging these letters in my dream, I would have probably been chased by them.

I used to find it funny how TV depicts people being chased by numbers after a hard day's work in an accounting firm. I really couldn't believe how people could actually see themselves being chased by huge, human-sized numbers. Until today, when I myself am living proof that numbers -- and letters, for that matter -- are as lifesize in La la land as you can imagine.

Y A E M R D ===> D R E A M Y

Kill Phil vol. 2

There are several ways to skin a cat, so goes a cliche. There are also several ways to kill Phil. So, who really is Phil?

Remember the roach who shared the shower with me? Well, let's just say that she has a friend whom I shall name Phil. This morning, as I was gloriously sitting in my throne room (remember my throne room from hell?), I saw him, prancing his way around the chamber, not fearing what would happen to his dear life.

I am not scared of roaches, nor do I find them icky. I just hate them when they crawl on my skin. Fortunately this morning, nothing of that sort happened. In the event, however, that Phil charged at me, I was prepared for battle!

If there is one thing I have mastered in my many years of existence, it is the art of killing roaches. So how exactly do you kill Phil? Here are some proposed ways:

Traditional ways:

1. Crush him with a slipper.
2. Swat him with a rolled newspaper.
3. Step on him
4. Spray mega doses of insectide on him until he falters and goes into a coma and then death.

Non-traditional ways:

1. Pour mega doses of alcohol on the wretched beast.
2. Dump toothpaste on him. This will immobilize him to death.
3. Pour shampoo (the thicker and creamier, the better) on the imp. This will immobilize him and will immobilize his wings (yes, roaches do fly).
4. Lure him in the toilet water and flush him all the way down.
5. Pour huge amounts of water on him until he flips over and can't stand up. He will die in this position if unmoved for several days.
6. Pour hot water on him.

I have tried all these methods and all of them work. Fortunately for me, and for Phil, he didn't charge at me. He danced a little more around my throne room until he quietly slipped off in a small crack near the sink.

Kill Phil plan aborted. For now....

Scratches and Dents

Last Saturday, at around 11:50 p.m., on the way to a local cinema to catch The Village, I met an unusual accident.

Flashback several hours before the incident.

I came from a party of a high school friend, which was about an hour's drive away from the city. The area is very remote considering that I am used to traveling only within city limits. After spending some time watching a Korean movie, My Sassy Girl, which gave all of us a headache, we decided that it was time to leave.

On the way to the movie house, I had to pick up my brother, who was out with his girlfriend the entire day but had no idea how to get back home. I should have given him some bread so he could leave bread crumbs on the road. Unfortunately, I got too caught up in traffic that I decided to turn around and proceed to the cinemas instead, telling him to just sleep over at our cousin's house.

From the traffic, I careened all the way to the heart of the city, traveling at an unusual speed of 100 to 120 kilometers per hour under torrential rains. Slippery when wet, indeed. A few blocks away from the cinema, I decided to slow down, since I had enough time to park and buy the ticket for the movie. Surprise, surprise! Another vehicle hit me on the side!

As I was cruising at a speed of 20 kilometers per hour (talk about cruise control), a vehicle emerged from a hotel parking lot and positioned itself on the center lane. As I was going to turn right, I was on the right-most lane, logically. As I was about to turn right, this vehicle turned right as well, hitting me on the door of the driver's seat. Apparently, the guy driving didn't notice I was there. We spent about an hour waiting for the traffic management bureau personnel to arrive. But we waited in vain. So we went to the station instead to file a police report.

Blessing of blessings, I just renewed my license, which had been expired for five whole months without my conscious knowledge, just last Tuesday. Imagine, I was driving for five months without a valid license, and nothing happened. It was a good thing that the one who hit me was good, and he was man enough to admit his fault. And the police officer who took charge of our case was kind enough to process the papers despite the fact that I was missing the cars registration.

A comic relief for the night. While narrating to the police officer his side of the story, me and my companions overheard him say how he "sidesweeped" my car. And my companion, being the feisty girl that she is, proudly corrected him, saying that we were not "sideswiped" but rather rammed on the side.

I didn't get to see The Village. However, I am still thankful that no one was hurt during the incident. God is REALLY VERY GOOD! And I have the scratches and the dents in my car to prove just that!

Reminiscing Poetry

I was going through my geocities site this morning when I chanced upon several poems that I did back in University. No, they were not part of our curriculum, they were just part of me. It was my hobby, and still is, whenever I do get the time. I just love playing with words and letting my imagination run wild. Among my favorites is the poem The Art of Love Baking. Here it is:

The Art of Love Baking


First, pre-heat the oven
While the dough is new
Squeezing and squeezing
All the way through

Just a little
Then in excess
A mouthful of clear chock'lit
Fill it up with French "Kisses"

Then lay it flat
Working downwards on
Gently moistening
With the spatula's tongue

Then, while the oven is hot
Slowly push it in
Then rest and pause
Then seal it in

Poke it once, twice
Many times to be exact
Feels hotter and hotter
And intense, that's a fact

Then…..SPLAT!
The gooey white filling goes
Voila…
That's how love baking goes.

The Throne Room From Hell

Have you heard about the throne room from hell? Well, I've just been there and will probably be there tonight. Do you want to know how I got there? Well, read on and find out.

Yesterday, I had a total of about 9 cups of tea, different flavors, the entire day. I ate sausages in the morning, potato chips in the afternoon, and a pack of KFC Hot Shots in the evening. For those of you who don't know KFC Hot Shots, those are little chicken pieces that are spicy hot in flavor -- and I mean HOT, HOT, HOT! I had 2 oranges as well before going to bed.

This morning, I woke up with the achiest of all my stomach aches, I needed to rush to the "throne room" half awake. Lo and behold, I was suffering from diarrhea. I don't know why. It must be the tea, or the lack of solid in my digestive system. Whatever it was, I was really shitting like hell!

I went to the throne room a total of four times this morning. By my fourth trip, I was totally exhausted. My a-hole felt so sore because of all the spastic movement. Good grief!

So everybody has diarrhea every now and then. What makes this throne room experience a hell-like experience, you may ask. Remember the Hot Shots thing I told you about? Have you ever eaten something very hot that when you excrete it rectally, you feel a burning sting in your a-hole? Well, I had that this morning. Couple that with the pain brought about by the diarrhea spasms in my rectum, I felt that I had just survived a very hellish experience.

This sure beats the aftermath of taking Xenical!

A Duffy Story

Some time ago, I watched A Cinderella Story with some office friends, my brother and his girl, and my cousins. Of course, it is a cheesy movie, but hey, it's free! Beggars can't be choosers, you know!

The plot was very much like the classic Cinderella story, but with a modern touch. But I should tell you, this movie is just that - a movie. It is not like real life, which a movie should mirror. There were a lot of flaws in the story, and these flaws are just plain unbelievable.

Take the fact that Samantha, the lead character, was only wearing a mask at the ball. And not a face mask, but the kind of mask that only covers the area surrounding your eyes, just above the nose. And the stupid jock doesn't even recognize her??? Come on, give me a break! And this same stupid guy who fails to recognize people, gets into Princeton! Now I should say from this movie that the educational system of America is very flawed indeed! And the voice of the "mystery" girl gives her away easily. So why doesn't this all-American jock still recognize her whenever they get to talk to each other? I mean, who has that kind of voice but Lizzie Maguire?

And then, there is the cell phone. She leaves her cell phone behind at the dance and she doesn't even try to look for it? Come on! Didn't she notice it was missing? Forward to the next scenes where she doesn't even talk about her missing phone. Now, how moronic can this film get?

Oh, and aside from the storyline, guess what - or who - else is flawed? Hillary Duff. Well, I guess you could now name her Hillary Puff. Yep, she's too chubby to be "Cinderella," especially in that gown she wore during the ball. It is really far from the image of Cinderella that have been imprinted in our memories. And the way she talks, it is just so Lizzie. It's like watching The Lizzie Maguire Movie once again. Lucky for her, she has her mom to be one of the producers of the film.

An upside to this film, however, is her stepmom, played by the actress who played Stiffler's mom in American Pie, and the Bend-and-Snap girl in Legally Blonde. She was really great when she was driving a speeding car after she got botox injections. And the way she said Norweigian Salmon comes from Norweigia? Classic.

This film is not really for the critics, but for the young teeny bopper girls who like to see a feel good movie, or for the Duffers out there. I liked it for its feel-good character, but other than that, the storyline is completely moronic. You would be better off reading the classic story from your fairy tale collection. Who knows, you might find your ancestor's Last Will and Testament hidden there.

Just Tea

I love tea.

I used to be a coffee drinker, but now, I am a tea convert. Why you may ask? Well, tea has far less caffeine than coffee. Tea is healthier than coffee. Tea is less fattening than all the condiments you have to put on coffee to make it more delicious. Besides, tea is cheaper in Starbucks or Seattle's Best. And, you could have it refilled with hot water, in case you finish your drink and you still feel the need to drink some more.

Of the numerous tea flavors there are in the world, I had the privilege of being able taste a number of them. Here are a few:

Wild Sweet Orange
My Starbucks favorite. It has the sour-sweet flavor of orange that satisfies my taste buds down to its roots. Very flavorful until you get to the next hot water fill. I think it is also good for the immune system, considering that it is made from oranges, which have vitamin C. Best with two sachets of honey.

Ginger Peach
My Seattle's Best favorite. The ginger in it gives it a mild zing. Plus, they say that ginger is nice for your voice. And peaches... mmm... mmm... mmmm! This is also best taken with two sachets of honey.

Jasmine Green Tea
Green tea never tasted so good with the scent and flavor of Jasmine flowers. The thing about Jasmine tea is that it has a very acrid after taste that smells like rotten flowers. Or is it just my mouth?

Chamomile Tea
A very good substitute for Jasmine tea. Tastes and smells pretty much like chamomile. I find this drink soothing. It gives me inner peace (huh?).

Orange Spice Tea
The flavor of orange with a mild twist! It does have a spicy flavor. It is not as sweet as wild sweet orange, but hey, it tastes just as good. No, it doesn't have pepper and onions and other cooking spices. It just has a touch of spice in it that makes its flavor distinct.

Green Tea
Now this is the healthiest kid in the block! Tastes like grass, hell yes. But who cares? As long as you're healthy, right?

I have tasted other tea concoctions, but so far, these are my favorites. The thing about having tasted various tea flavors is that you don't get to have a tea fatigue syndrome because your taste buds are exposed to different flavors each time you take a sip of that sumptuous cup of tea.

So who said that only the English and Chinese drink tea? I enjoy it as well as they do. Oh, wait a minute, I am part Chinese. I guess that is where my tea fascination comes from.

Tea time!

He Goes By The Name of Oreo

Oreo - a chocolate sandwich cookie with rich cream filling. Twist open, lick the cream filling and dunk in milk for best results.

I had always been fond of Oreos. I really like it's cream filling which I lick with gusto everytime I eat one. Kind of reminds me of something.... Now don't turn dirty on me, it's not what you think! It reminds me of licking ice cream without the cold feeling.

Apparently, one of my cousins goes by the name of Oreo. He is not just a cousin, but probably one of my best friends as well. Whenever we're together, we just get to enjoy each other's company, and boy, do we really get wild!

I remember visiting him in Australia before and it was really very memorable for me. The sights, the people, but most especially, the "experiences" (if you know what I mean, *wink, wink*). I remember going around the city with him and being left by the bus. No train was available at that time due to some repairs. We had to take a cab to where we left his car, which is a suburb outside Sydney. Aaahhhh... the memories of Sydney. One day, I'll go back there and enjoy the Great Outback to its fullest!

We lost contact for quite some time. I suppose he became very busy as was I. Until this morning, when I received a notification of him accepting my invitation to be part of my multiply network. I never really knew what it was that closed down our lines of communication. I get to email him every now and then, but he doesn't seem to get to reply to them. I don't see him online in msn, nor do I receive any SMS from him.

Despite the lack of communication, I still consider him one of my best buds, one who gave me an unforgettable time in Sydney. Maybe, just maybe, one of these days, he would be able to reply to my messages. Last time I heard, he was doing good with his girl. Hopefully, the next time we meet, I'll have a girl to tag along with me.

Unfortunately, for now, all I can do is be contented with the Oreos in the local grocery and lick all the fillings off it one by one. Someday, I may have a girl to lick Oreo fillings with - not here, but in Sydney.

Food

Last weekend, I did nothing but binge on glorious food!

Saturday started with a hefty serving of mushroom in scrambled eggs and tuna. The tuna was really tasteful as it had mushrooms and garlic with it. It was so delicious, I needed to have at least a third helping.

Lunch was okay, I guess, with beef in tomato sauce being the main course. And then dinner - a sumptuous serving of penne in pesto sauce! It really worked up my appetite for the whole day. Unfortunately, it had carbohydrates written all over it, which of course, I totally neglected.

In between lunch and dinner, I had two helpings of ice monster! Two helpings! Can you imagine that? One cookies and cream and one mango teaser. It was really all too much for one person who is supposed to be on a diet.

My next sumptuous meal came the next day in the form of fried cold cuts. Of course, they weren't cold anymore because they were fried. What is it with our country that tells us to fry cold cuts when they were actually meant to be served cold? These processed meats have already been pre-cooked and is hence ready to eat. The idiosyncracies of our culture, really.

For lunch, my whole family went to a local Japanese fast food where they serve really great meals! I had tonkatsu, tempura and misono, with a helping of potato balls on the side. That's calories after spoonful of calories, mind you. After that meal, I felt like I couldn't eat another bite for the next week or so.

Lo and behold! Dinner came and I had more food to eat! We went to a children's party where they served barbecue, spaghetti (in two sauces), roasted pig, beef stew, pot pie, fried chicken and truckloads of desserts! Of course, I wouldn't pass on a chance to try everything, so I got a helping of each of the party's dishes.

Now, as far as I can remember, I was on a diet and I took an oath of food celibacy since September. But apparently, I suffered from short-term memory loss over the weekend and forgot all the reasons why I wanted to lose weight to begin with. I do suffer from guilt feelings but hey, food like that passes you once in a blue moon, so why not take the opportunity to indulge?

Now, where did I place my stash of M&Ms?

Fun Day At The Shoot

Yesterday, at about noon time, I had a photo shoot for a medical publication. Get this, I needed to pose as an epileptic having a seizure. Boy, was it very tiring. I never could imagine myself having those fits. It must really be very difficult for the epileptics to have their seizures.

A few minutes prior to the shoot, me and my friend, who happened to join me in the shoot eventually, played around the studio and had some fun shots taken. Unfortunately, the shots weren't that good. Too bright, or I was not propped up correctly. Too bad, it was really a great opportunity to have a serious studio shot.



We really had a lot of laughs, especially when I was ready to have a seizure. Hahaha, talk about being ready! They said they really pitied me, that I looked really authentic (notice how I could get exaggerated here, you should have seen me yesterday). But they were laughing their asses out. The irony of it.

I really enjoy doing these absurd shoots. I remember having done one for constipation, another for neuropathic pain, another for colds. And to think I am aspiring for a modeling job on TV. Hahahaha. This is far better! I get to do things that other people wouldn't dare to. Artiste par excellence!

Well, until the next shoot.