The Sea of Pee

Have you ever felt the urge to urinate in a very uncomfortable place?

Well, I have... I was snorkling in the clear waters of Boracay when I finally had the urge to do my thing... not that thing, the liquid thing that shoots from my hose. Well, I really had to go badly after drinking much seawater, I had to ask somebody.

So I asked one of the boatmen.

"Diyan na lang ho, sa dagat! Lahat naman ho, diyan na umiihi, eh!"

Imagine my surprise at his reply! I am practically swimming in a sea of urine! And to think I drank some seawater, giving me the urge to urinate! Well, there's urine therapy for me!

And so I tried to pee in the water... I forced my bladder once... twice... the mere knowledge of me swimming in a sea of pee, drinking sea pee, snorting sea pee... that really freaked my bladder out into embarassment. Plus, of course, I was embarassed... peeing there in front of my relatives and their relatives. It might have been good if I were with some unknown boatmen... but no... these were blood relatives!

And then it came. I finally was able to pee! Success! I can now officially say that I have already swam in my own pee! It's like saying that I'm drenched in my own blood. Hoo, boy! That was something else... Suddenly, the cool Boracay water around me became as warm as my body.

The only thing that kept my mind from being so freaked out by the thing I just did is that I am in water.... my urine is clean.... and that water in urine makes a solution of urinary water measured in parts per trillion, that is there is only one part of urine in a trillion gallons of sea water.

One word of caution, though. One should never do this in a swimming pool or in a jacuzzi. Now, that would be a different story.