The Boracay Sexcapade: Vol. 2

Day 2.

Still no babes in sight... Still no sun in the sky... When will heaven come to me?

Unlike the first day, however, this day was more eventful.

I woke up, had a couple of Mars in the toilet (remember my jamming-mate?), and proceeded to have my breakfast with my aunt and cousin and their relatives. Well, my first big laugh came when my aunt's niece told me of a story about her father ordering breakfast. The story goes like this...

"Good morning, sir! What do you want for breakfast?"

"I'll have bacon and eggs please."

"How would you like your eggs done, sir?"

"Upside down please."

Of course, he intended to say sunny-side up. The funny thing is, when his order came, it was flipped upside down!

Big laugh for breakfast - not bad! This story joins the ranks of my dad ordering bottomless iced tea, referring to it as "bottoms up iced tea," or my mom referring to sack race as sack rice.

Then we went snorkling. That was actually my first time to snorkle! I got to see the wonders of the sea and even manage to spot a blue starfish, which my cousin scooped up for us to get a photo of. During the trip, I had another laugh with another story of the same guy which goes...

"Son, somebody gave me some money, which I am giving to you. It is in a currency foreign to me but I think it translates to a million bucks."

"Thanks, mom! I'll go look it up in some banks and check whether they actually exchange this currency."

So the guy went to some banks, got a hold of several connections, to no avail. Finally, he went to the Central Bank.

"I've been to several banks and they could not identify this currency. I would like to have this exchanged, please."

"Sir, we're not familiar with that currency as well, although I could have it checked for you."

"Thanks!"

"Sir, please take a seat for a while. We had this currency checked. Did you say you've been around town for a while checking for this currency, wanting to have it changed?"

"Definitely! I'd even give you a little amount as a gesture of thanks if and wehn I have it changed."

Of course, at this point, he really thought that it was worth thousands, if not millions worth of local currency.

"Sir, I am afraid I have to break this to you. The equivalent of the amount you want to have exchanged is 150 pesos."

The guy imagined himself running from the bank in shame. All he could say was thank you, with sweat forming at the edge of his eyebrows.

Something funny to cap a nice snorkling adventure in the rain.

When the rain stopped a bit, we had the opportunity to ride a banana boat, which was really fun. There were no comedic quips during the ride though. It was just pure enjoyment.

We then went back to our hotel rooms. My cousin and I went around shopping for local products. One of the shops I checked was a bead shop. I asked the saleslady how much the beads were.

"Sir, that forty. Per na po yan."

I was like, "Come on! This isn't pearl obviously! It is made of clam shells! How can this be pearl?" But being the kind person that I was, I asked, "Could you say that again please?"

"Per na po."

I simply forgot where I was. Of course she meant pair. I really wanted to burst out laughing, but then again, I might be beaten up by a swarm of Visayans in the area.

That night, I had a henna tattoo, I walked down the night beach, with strong winds in tow, and ended up, again, in Wave. Planning to get hitched that night, I started to look around for any foreigners or any kind of babe. Unfortunately, being the lean or off-peak season, all I spotted were some matronic beauties waiting for willing patrons... Well, that's life! If you can't get hitched, you CAN'T get hitched!

I therefore conclude that the Boracay Sexcapade is just a myth, at least in my books. Time will come when I have saved enough money to actually go there during peak season. Maybe, by then, the Boracay Sexcapade will materialize into something real. Until then...