Friday, September 17, 2004

Suicide Diaries

Today, I want to die. Just today, right at this moment. Don't ask me why, I just want to. Here are a few ways I am currently pondering on to fulfill my terminal task:

  1. Jump off our office building from the rooftop.
  2. Eat expired Oreos found here in my trash can.
  3. Go to the toilet and slash my wrist with a cutter.
  4. Better yet, slash my neck (the jugular vein is better to slash).
  5. Wash my hands and touch an electrical socket.
  6. Drink rat poison so I'll bleed to death.
  7. Bang my head endlessly on my monitor. I just wish I won't survive this one. Otherwise I will be fired for destroying company property.
  8. Strangling myself to death with the wire of my headphones.
  9. Hire an assassin.
  10. Just stand in the middle of the street until a rampaging truck or motorcycle or cab hits me.

Take me with you! Let me see the light at the end of the tunnel. NOW!

2 comments:

orangekiwi said...

yo eldon. it's really been refreshing and relaxing to read your diaries even if it's a suicidal one...really gets my mind off a long day at work... keep up! don't end your life yet or you'll deprive your readers off a good laugh.

Anonymous said...

How can expired Oreos kill you? I'd like to know because i'd like to try it!