I guess it is just one of those days again. Right now, I think I need a makeover. Not just a physical makeover but a generalized makeover. Have you ever watched that fab five show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Sometimes, I wish I was the guy they are going to give tips to. Have you seen those reality shows, or even Oprah, where they give the person a facelift, a nose job, or any kind of plastic surgery to make the person more physically appealing? Well, I wish I had that opportunity as well.
What do I want to change physically? Hmmm.... Well, for one, I want to change my nose. I want it to be more sharp, finer. I want my cheeks deeper. And yes, I want to have deep set eyes as well. I would like to have a lower hairline and I would like more facial hair, thank you!
If all these were taken together, I would probably have a plastic surgery of my entire face. I would probably have the face of Tom Cruise replicated. Or my best friend. Or my next best friend. Probably, I would be able to attract more women, especially the dominatrix type. Hehehehehe....
Anyway, I would also like to have a liposuction. I would like to get rid of these love handles, my problem spot. And don't forget about those cellulites in my thighs. *sigh* I would also liked to be buffed up, but not too much.
In another aspect, I would like to change the way I view things. I would like to have more confidence in myself. I would like to be more sensitive to the needs of women. I would like to be able to talk to women in such a way that I don't sound like the very friendly type of person whom every chick considers just a friend and nothing more.
I would also like to be intelligent, someone who knows things just like that. I would like to be analytical, yet creative at the same time. I would like to be able to make use of the talents I have to help others and also, make money on the side.
Hmmmm..... Pathetic, isn't it? I'm green with envy, it seems.... envious of the people I know, envious of the way they live their lives, envious of the way they see life and people and the universe in general. Right now, I am in a vacuum. I feel so unconfident, so low.
But hey, this is just one of those days. Tomorrow may be different. I may not be as frustrated with me as I am now. Thank God for tomorrows.
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2 comments:
I like you the way you are, but then I'm sure I'm not the type of girl you'd want to attract. (I'm sweet, unassuming, and submissive. Not a dominatrix.) Everyone has at least one feature they'd like to change. Make no mistake about it. I'm sure Tom Cruise still wishes he were taller.
Another thing, you're so goddamn smart. Think of all the 4s you strung in school. Think of the classmates who'd lobby to be in your group. Think of the many times you corrected inglish. Think of the papers we, er, you did. Di ba ang galing mo?
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